i slept in gem's place for two days, and when i got back to my house i was a little uncomfortable with our house. weird, right? the itao family has been so kind to me. aheheh. they were very hospitable. ahehe. i get to talk to all of them and to mang clauds and mang zalds, who were all funny. there never was a dull moment. ahah. GEMMALIE, I SUPER MISS YOU NA. i felt like i was already a part of the itao family. ahahaa. i love yah!

anyway, today was the start of our christmas vacation.. and i started it badly. im currently sick. having flu, i think? and i hate it. my whole body is in pain. i am having a sore throat. my voice is husky. my muscles are in total pain. bad start! i am supposed to go to quezon today, but i found myself still freezing on my bed this afternoon (3:00 pm) and shivering even though it's brown out.

what is wrong with meralco?

waaah. 4 days left til christmas. my family and cousins and i will celebrate the christmas eve in tayabas, quezon. ahehe. cold!!! i'll surely bring thick jackets.

my left hand is partially paralyzed. hahah. hindi ko siya magalaw at some extent. hindi ko siya mataas at some angle. i can't rotate it. pero good thing i can still use it for typing. waaah. pano na kaya to. it all started last monday, akala ko the pain will eventually go away... but no, it's already sunday and tomorrow will be monday. mag-1-1 week na. waaah!!! pano ko siya gagamitin for aerobics marathon? saka.. waaaah. sana it won't affect the way i hit the drums.waaaah!

anyway, i'm about to win the battle. ahaha. the battle kung saan magnenew year. hopefully, it will end up na everybody's going to agree with me. :D

oh yeah. ouch!!! waaah. nangangalay na kamay ko.. gusto ko na siyang igalaw.

arrgh! masakit talaga. i can't even lie down in bed properly. :(

3 more days... vacation na! oh yeah!

9 days before christmas.

the schedule is on.

dec 18
xmas party with my friends in gemmalie's place
overnight at gem's place
dec 19
intrams (cheering day)
overnight at gem's place
waaah. i wish i won't forget what i've practiced
dec 20.
xmas parties (a. with the class b. with the team c. with my friends in rhoda's place)
overnight at gem's place
last training for the year 2006
oh yeah!!! so pano ko kaya pagsasabay sabayin.
dec 21.
dom's birthday. pano ko i-cconvince sila na dapat that date umuwi
dec 22.
dec 23.
xmas party with my cousins (not sure yet)
dec 24.
dec 25.

hmmm. basta i have to complete the 9 morning masses.

sana hindi kami magnew year dito sa manila. well, i know that we have to stay here... pero we aren't complete this new year. so why do we have to get stuck in here and wait for the new year's eve... tas ako lang naman gising.

12 more days til christmas. sigh. so... what is it that i'm going to look forward to?
christmas parties?
gift giving and RECEIVING?
sleepovers????
what else?
nothing's new. will there be something new?
another christmas? another new year? another sad celebration.

sigh. ayoko na magchristmas. lalo na new year. i wish i could just fast forward the time... dramatic mode. pero come to think of it? this will be the third year na nagcelebrate ako ng holidays ng hindi man lang nakumpleto family ko. so,, there's nothing to look forward to.

it's 12 days before christmas. 2 more days then 12 goes down to 10. pero wala pa ring nagkakabit ng christmas lights dito sa bahay... kahit christmas tree wala man lang nagtatayo. so.. the christmas spirit seems to forget to pass through our house. haay. malayo kasi bahay ko eh..

but i still believe in santa. i do believe in santa.

now i know what to look forward to...

santa's gift.

what will be his gift?

weekend was never been that fun. (pertaining to last week). you know, i get to go to different places without anyone controlling me and myself. wohoo! pero siyempre i got scolded for what i've done. bakit ganito? bakit ganun? questions like that. pero at least, i had fun. compared to my sisters who had a boring long weekend,,, i made memories.

ahaha. no wonder some really gets jealous of me. well, sorry for those people. life's not boring, so why get stuck at home, right? dyosko! you make your life. i make mine. so if people choose to make theirs boring... wag na ko idamay.

well anyway, hmmm. danica celebrated her 18th birthday with us (ninang arni, kuya i, manel, loi and me). woah! it was fun.. ahehe. i enjoyed. then as usual i was scolded after my not going home. eh sabi naman ni may wag na daw ako uuwi kahit kailan eh. i was just being obedient, wasn't i?

ahaha. that's life. you just follow. aheheh. NOT! why will i follow? well, i choose who to follow. ahehe.

okay, so months from now, life's going to be in its worst part again. hmm. be prepared? tsss. i will never prepare for it. it won't happen. oh shit! what if it happens?

NO WAY! magkakagera talaga.

dear god, i hope you help me win the battle. amen.

amen.
amen.

hmm. i'm looking forward to another weekend or vacation that will be full of fun... no adults. no restrictions. no limitations.. ahaha. people just have to trust me. why can't they? i am totally in control of myself! just trust me, okay?

god. i missed my mom. haay. two hours ago. i was just walking and walking and walking. unaware of what's happening around me. for once, the world seemed to just fade and i was left alone walking in a place that was,,, (well, for me) isolated. tapos narealize ko na lang na malayo layo na rin nalakad ko. i miss my mom.

i miss the times that i hug that very soft tummy.
i miss the times that i always look forward to dismissal because i'll be seeing my mom again and we'll go to any place and do anything. shop for example.
i miss the times that i don't have to sleep late just to do my assignments and don't have to worry about projects because i'll know that she'll help me finish it.
i miss the times that i hide in her bedroom whenever i am assigned to do some household chores. then in there,,, we'll just talk about anything happy or sad. sometimes we get so dramatic but when we cry together.. we also laugh at the same time.
i miss the times that i run to her bed at night whenever i had a nightmare then she's going to hug me and tell me to pray for a wonderful dream.
i miss every single moment i had been with her.

and now, sad to say... whatever happens, i'll never have another chance to make a new memory with her.

got home at 1:30am last night. aura's 3rd celebration was fun. we watched the happy feet in gateway. roamed around the mall then went to eastwood to... well, we're supposed to eat but we don't have much money so we just strolled around eastwood city. people in there were so dressed. i mean,,, all were wearing smart casual attires while.. we're so out of place. we stared at hot guys because they're hot.. they stared at us because we're wearing just our simple selves. ahaha. tsinelas. pants. shirt. why do we have to get dressed and put make up in eastwood, anyway? simplicity is holy. ahaha.

oh yeah.

i was dropped in a police station. there my sister met me and we waited for our sundo. ahaha. grabe. people were like staring at us. sobrang.. natatakot ako... parang drug addict yung mga yun. a car even stopped in front of us and opened their window and said hi... and i was so freaking out. it's already 1am..antagal nung sundo. but when they arrived... woah! unexpectedly.. 4 motorcycles arrived... then i was already going to tell my ate that i think it will be better if we just seat in the burger machine kasi there were rumors that in our place.. robbers were always in their motorcycles... pero when i saw the driver.. ahaha. they were our neighbors who were volunteers to guard our village,and they came to fetch us. ahaha. when we drove back to the house.. i was screaming and shouting (wohoo!) on our way.. i really enjoyed the trip. it's as if i was drunk when i screamed as the motorcycles raced to our house which was a kilometer or two from our house. saya!

and we arrived safely at home and had a 12-hour sleep.

the end.

ps. there's another celebration for aura's birthday. sana matuloy.

i had a 22-hour beauty rest. whew. sarap matulog. the camping was really tiring. my groupmates and i lived like the poor. we cooked our own food, slept outside the tent, walk in the middle of a very dark field and ate with kawayan utensils.

i also had my very first football training last friday. god! it was tiring. tiring that at some point i already heard my lungs craving for air and my body wanting to just lie down in the middle of the field. but although the training was really tiring, it was fun and good. we played games for fun. run wildly across the field. my teammates were great. the trainers were approachable. and i think, i'll be having a great time with all of them. but still it was tiring. i felt all my calories being burned and muscles being stiffened. no way! ayoko magkamuscles sa legs. aheheh

anyway, i already got my report card. i wasn't able to retain my 98 in math. it went down by one point. but my prosec grade went up by two points and replaced the loss of my 98. so okay pa rin. my teenstar and analytic geometry grade soared high by 6 points. english by 4. physics, music and economics by 2. so okay naman. others retained some went down by one to two points. but i think i did good last quarter. ahehe.

intrams practice tomorrow. hmm. again i'll be playing drums. woah! i'm quite nervous. ahehe. trivia: i stopped playing instruments because of there was a cause. and now i'm playing drums again. i'm freaking scared. ahaha. sana wala ng epal na magcomment again about how i play instruments. panira ng buhay eh! aheheh

that's it. chop! chop!

by the way, celynn was the basketball MVP in their intrams. a video of how she played will be posted on my multiply. ahehe. i'm so proud of her! siguro siya rin dapat yung best drummer. kaya lang. walang inannounce na best drummer. kaya 2 lang medals niya. but anyway, being the most valuable player is already an honor. ahah. go sister!

start of the second term tom. classes again. stress again. pressure again. workload again. test results again. failing or passing scores again. but it's the second term. 1 2 3 4 and 5 months more... then tantantatan. ahaha. parang ikakasal. ano ba tono ng graduation march song? diba tantantatan. anyway, anyway, as if i needed to know the tune. kahit naman alam ko or hindi,,, i'll always be out of tune, right?

oh well, i better sleep early. maaga na naman gigising. =)

why is everyone getting pregnant? why is almost everyone getting married? i have nothing against those people enjoying premarital sex,,, pero woah! grabe.. sobrang dami na ng biktima. good thing, i'm not one of those victims. i won't even try committing that shit.

anyway, a day and 6 hours from now, i'll be waking up for school again. (currently 23:00). oh no. i'm still not in the "going-to-school" mood. god. i 'm still enjoying the wonders of the one week break wherein i can get a chance to sleep for fourteen hours straight, stay online the whole night or do anything i want like movie marathon.

oh well..i can't escape school, right? i wish i could. i wish i really could. so that i can continue sleeping on my bed and dream about anything i want.

5 more months and im off from that school. grabe 12 years.
5 more months and wohoo! vacation ulit
5 more months and ... real world! here i come!

What happens if I mix milk and beer in my stomach? Currently 00:41 and just arrived from phyll’s party. Their house was pretty big. More than enough to accommodate all the guests (half were my friends). So what happened in there? Hmmm. Wild things. Really wild things.

Anyway, sembreak isn’t over yet, but unfortunately, I am already back to the real world (manila). I was planning to stay in the province for a week, but it turned out to be uhmm. 3 days? That’s less than half of the week .good thing there’ll be a sort of reunion next week (11th of November).. Meaning, I’ll be going back to the province and will be seeing my very loved cousins next week. Hooray!

Okay. So what is wrong with our internet connection? The process seems to be too slow. 36 kbps. What the heck!

Anyway, the fresh air (kind of) in the province comforted me. So I guess… I am back for good. No more dramas. No more issues. No more late night depressions… and forget all the issues… especially anything related to S-L-U-T-S.

Whew! It’s sad that I wasn’t able to share the topmost secret.. I was surprised that a few knows it. That was a relief, actually. To be able to ran away from that stupid replay of the whole story was a big relief.

God! What’s wrong with me. I can’t even tell it to people I trust. Not even to my best friend or to my closest relative.

Anyway. Like what I’ve said.. no more dramas.

Chop chop!

P.S. why is everyone telling me that i'm fat? fine fine. at least, may tumaba na ko.

okay. so....the first term's finally OVER. yippeee!!! celebration!!! tomorrow, i'll be off for a good short one-week break. oh yeah! finally, exams are over. projects are over... not.. but at least... half of the whole school year is over.

well, going out for a celebration on the last day of exams seem to be our tradition that's why a while ago we were in rhoda's house. we laughed. we roared. we ATE. we danced. we watched (oh yeah, brad). and lastly did stupid but fun stuffs. like.. hmm.. choo-choo train and hmmm.. lying underneath that big blue dark sky.

it's fun really. next time ulit.

so the sembreak agenda's like this.

go to the prov
spend the break with my cousins
go to the cemetary (buy scramble)
go to phyll's birthday bash
go to zambales for a post halloween party (sana matuloy)
and
go and have fun.

since this semestral break's going to be the longest sembreak SHSians will ever have... i'm really not going to waste my time sleeping and doing boring stuffs. oh yeah! one week of being away from anything related to school! whew! oh yeah.

so that's it for now..

SEMBREAK!!! HERE I COME

exams week next week. then sembreak. oh yeah! i can't wait to have a short vacation. i've been tired lately and sleepless. my fault actually, i wasted some of my time. but the wasting of time was fun. unlike spending it wisely, i enjoy wasting my time.

so, i am stuck in this house for two days. schedule of exams was really mixed up. i mean, we have exams on monday and wednesday morning then after it, lessons in different subjects. maybe their going to cram putting knowledge in us.

my dad already left for work. he's going to chile. but he had a stopover in germany. long story actually, he was first left on the supposed to be "his flight" that's why he boarded on the next flight. ahaha. why was he left behind? he left our house 5 hours before the first flight. he actually arrived in the airport 4 hours before his flight.

anyway, so here we are again stuck with no parent. hmmm. my guardians will be my two elder sisters. one i can handle. the other one i can't. too bad, the other one i am talking about is the one handling our money. rrrr! i'm going to school next week with less money.

so how am i going to pay all the debts i have? i thought i will be able to pay it.

but with a sister as "kuripot" as that.

i might as well start looking for a job. so who wants to hire me? i can play drums. ahaha.

what the! ahah.

so i think it's time to starve and start saving my allowance. oh no! we're planning for a puerto trip this sembreak. then a party after test. so, where will i get money? i only have a hundred and fifty bucks under my pillow.

oh well, maybe you can lend me money?

sigh. i'm becoming poor. no way! i'll have everything paid before the start of the break. i hope i can do that.

god! i am just so sad. so sad. so so sad.

sigh.

i thought i was just joking when i said that.. but now i just found out that MY joke came true. good thing, i am born to live, coz if not, i might as well commit suicide. okay, let me clear it. I DON'T PLAN TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK STUPID. i don't plan to commit that pathetic thing. haaay. good thing, my mind IS still working. oh god!

sigh. i am just so sad. so so

sad.

i am currently undergoing an unidentified process..

god! it's freaky...

but

fun

i'm...

pissed.

irritated.

annoyed.

just had a new nice hot haircut. god! my hair is hot... ahaha.. maybe just for today. but still it is hot... no idea if it will still be the same tomorrow.

consistency is not in my vocabulary.. especially when it comes to my hair... the tidier it gets the more it's not me.

i love untidy hairs. ahaha. it's more hot. ahaha.. inspired by j.Lo.

hmmm.. for the picture? i'll just post it in my multiply. :-)

fine dining was not boring, but not so fun. i just enjoyed the delicious food, except for the salad, which when i chew makes me imagine myself that i'm like a cow chewing grass . i hate vegetables!
gem and i sneak had a great time resting in her place..

ahahah..i saw kuya james.! aheheh.
not that good looking anymore, but still cute.

i didn't wore a new dress, but i felt like a fairy because i am wearing an all-white attire, while ella (my partner) is wearing an all-black attire. ebony and ivory.

anyway, still have to do 2 essays.

********! fine dining's tomorrow, but i still haven't got a dress. my dad and i were looking for one a while ago, then he got angry because the dress i liked cost P975. mura na yun, di ba? for a dress. for a dress in freeway.. that's a good price na. and the style was nice. rrrr!!! now, i don't know what to do.

fine. maarte na kung maarte. i just want to wear a dress. i feel so girlie with it. rrrr.. hmmm. so now, i'm contacting all the friends i have. good thing they are such true friends, they'll bring their extras tomorrow.

i SO LOVE my friends. someone even told me that she'll be absent if i'm going to be absent. ahahah. okay. is it because of the camera? ahaha.. gem!!! joke lang. pero i appreciate it.

kung walang oma, walang gemmalie. ahahah.. what the!!! mushy.. pero ahaha.

i love ya gem..

also aura
also kae
also mags..kahit i didn't even try asking her.

=))

i hope, i'd be able to get a comfortable dress tomorrow.

i've dreamt of tom cruise last night. weird and funny. ahaha. if you only know the whole story.

anyway, classes for tomorrow were suspended. ghad! you don't know how happy i am. aside from the fact that we have a little number assignments, i can spend the whole day tomorrow shopping or sleeping. hmm.. more on the sleeping, since, i'm planning to spend the night watching movies.

oh sh*t, i forgot to get from lea the dvd of john tucker must die. lea? i hope she spends a nice and happy september 28. lea,,,, ahaha.. i'm going to miss her. haha. parang ilang taon kaming hindi magkikita ah.

i better start watching..

i just wish na this time,,, si brad pitt naman yung magpop sa panaginip ko. wohoo SG!!!

i am super close to dying a while ago. not really. but i got penniless a while ago. not penniless. peso-less? ahah. whatever you call it. on my way home (commute) i was about to ride the fx when i found my pocket empty. not actually empty because it was full of scratch papers, but my money was not anymore in my pocket. i sat down the bench to search for my peso bills, but... there was nothing inside my pocket except of trash.

pakapalan na ng mukha. so what i did was i rode the fx and then sat there for a while then think.

wag na lang kaya ako magbayad?
conscience.
eh wala naman ako pambayad eh.
conscience.
shit. baka ipapulis ako nito.
conscience.

so i chose among the two. sales lady on my right or college guy on my left. i picked the college guy.

me: excuse me, uhmm. nawala kasi yung pera ko eh. pwedeng humingi ng 10. 5 lang natira. eh
guy: (staring)
me: nadukot ata. ewan ko (teary-eyed)
guy: osige akin na yung 5. san ka ba bababa? SM homes or vicas.
me: vicas
guy: san nawala pera mo.
me: hindi ko talaga alam. baka sa sm.
guy: nadukot sa sm?

conversation didn't end there. but at least i reached home. oh god. bless him. shocks. muntik na ko. pero some of my friends were right. why didn't i get a taxi. actually, i don't know too. i didn't even thought of that. my choices were only ride but don't pay, ride but ask for money or text my sister and wait for 3 hours inside the mall without money.

it took me so much courage and guts to do that thing. at least, i didn't do any crime like not paying the fare. wahah. big big thanks to whoever that person is.

clutch. brake. gas.

first time of driving lessons with my dad. he said that i was such a slow learner but contrary to it, i think i am not. in fact, i am a fast learner. i know now how to make U-turns and switch gears (1st to 2nd gears only). i already know the basics. yihee. 10 more sessions and ... wihee! road trip!

despite the fact that i got scolded many times because of my feet, i still learned how to ignore the yells. haha. my dad told me that celynn may be a better learner, but really, i don't care.

i already learned the basics. madali na lang yun. i remember the first time i tried to drive. wahaha. almost died of laughters. close to meeting an accident. but i had a great time. i found it easier to drive an old van than a new car. don't know why. maybe because i was not scolded when i am learning to drive the van. teachers are a big factor.

but i still enjoyed the lessons with my dad.

by the way,i already showed my report card to my dad yesterday. i got no prize nor praises.

oh well, at least i'll get a prize from my tita. :D

already saw my report card. and i got pretty good grades but i have to admit that i am a bit disappointed with what i saw. i got 83 in teenstar (sex ed) which was pretty unexpected because i was actually expecting an 80 flat grade. and i got 7 line of 8 and 12 line of 9 (including co-curricular).

i am disappointed with my English grade. 86. first time to get a line of 8 in English but i'll be asking mrs. ben if there was nothing wrong with the computation. let it make it clear.

i am not holding grudges against any teacher.

hmm. most of my line of 9 are minor subjects except for math which is my highest grade.

hmmm. i am really not happy with some of my grades even though it is my fault.

currently supposed to be doing my ap project, but what the heck, i can't translate the long English paragraphs to Tagalog.

that sucks! i suck!

it's exactly 1:25 in the morning. i started doing the project at 10pm. hmp. and i've only translated 5 paragraphs. i'm tired and sleepy. yawn.

i got..

83 in teenstar (sex education)
86 in physics and english
87 in filipino, economics, accounting and analytic geometry
90 in scouting and homeroom
91 in my club
92 in health, music and cl
93 in computer
94 in pe
96 in prosec (personality development)
and
a high grade in math

:-)

i got this from ella's blog
and read it from her notebook

99 Red Balloons
I let go 99 red balloons to fly
99 prayers, 99 kisses goodbye
Like fireworks, they lit up the sky
Like your eyes, they make me cry
I let go 99 red balloons on the day
When I wept while the world was gay
I weep, for you are just a touch away
I weep, for when I touch, you back away
I let go 99 red balloons sadly
Much has been said when you said I'm Sorry
Brown eyes that light up like the city
Brown eyes that will never lay upon me
I let go with a hope that's new
My heart is in pieces but remains true
99 red balloons
One for me
All else for you

it's made by her. wahaha. galing no?

that's ella. the future writer.

bravo!

i woke up with 4 unread messages on my phone. the first one was from gem. the second was from ki. the third one was from my sister and lastly the fourth one was from anne.

anne asked if i can go with her to shang today.

i said, i have no appointment and have nothing to do, i can but i still have to ask my dad.

then she replied. okay, i'll be going there at exactly 11am, i'll fetch you at smF.

then i said. okay, but i still have to ask my dad.

luckily, my dad permitted me to go. anne and i ate lunch at shang and then watched "the devil wears prada".
The movie wasn't bad. But it wasn't that great.

so there, those were the things that happened today.

at least i didn't have a boring day.

but right now, i am bored. i guess i'll be spending my night alone again since my dad and celynn are already sleeping while may is currently studying for something i'm not really interested.

right, i just saw the light in our bedroom turned off.

okay, they're already sleeping. all of them.

tomorrow, i'll be going to bulacan. i was invited to be the ninang of my cousin's son. but even though i have to wake up so early, i don't plan to sleep early today. it's saturday night. why sleep early?

ninang? i'm too young for the role. gosh. i am just 16.

nothing much happened in school. i don't remember any lessons discussed. hmmm. but i'm glad i don't have to sleep late tonight to finish all my homework for tomorrow will be a day of a critical reflective thinking. crt for short. what will we be doing out there? i don't have any idea. but i'm thankful that there will be no discussions of numbers or theories or religion tomorrow. well, hopefully, there's none. and i am hoping that we will really have a critical and reflective thinking tomorrow. i am really really hoping that it will not be a boring session.

hmmm.

i'm so sleepy right now. and idle. and waaahh.. i have to go to my bed and rest. have a long beauty rest.

oh wait. i'll be posting an excerpt from shakespeare's romeo and juliet.
i find this line so sweet.

" and when he shall die,

take him and cut him out in little stars

and he will make the face of heaven so fine

that all the world will be in love with night

and pay no worship to the garish sun "

isn't it so sweet.

wahahah.

i so love the sky at night.

examination results were already released. i got good grades and some were even excellent grades but i failed one subject. 27/70. teenstar aka sex ed. rrrrr. i failed a minor subject.

on the brighter side, i got a perfect score in math and music. :-)

another quarter has already opened. 7 more months, and i'll be marching towards the stage. but since, nothing's really sure. i'm still not sure if i'll graduate, so for the mean time... i'm enjoying 4th year which feels like an extension of my summer vacation.

schedule for the second quarter has already been announced and i think we'll really be busy because of sooo many activities. stress is about to come. but i hope i'll finish this quarter with excellent grades and a smile.

well, i just updated this blog. for the sake of having something to do.

i passed english, filipino, accounting, analytical geometry and physics. they were some of the difficult tests. but i passed! line of 7 or not, i'm happy to pass these subjects.

:-) for the first time, i passed a science examination in the very first quarter. remembering the past, i failed chem, bio and gen sci 's examinations.

:-) yehey.. clap!

The first quarter of my senior year is finally over. 3 more quarters then off I go. The exams didn’t go as expected. It was hard and I really did a lot of guessing. Not few. But A LOT. Teenstar Periodical Test turned out to be the most difficult while Math turned out to be the easiest.

Enough of the exams talk. Waaah!! Next topic.

Wahahah. Guess what? I have fixed our computer. I am a certified engineer.

Our computer malfunctioned last Monday, and due to that, it was not turned on the whole week. Thanks to my engineering skills, we don’t have to pay a computer electrician (whatever you call it) anymore. Haha, for two days what I only did was to open the CPU and do a lot of “butingtings”.

And tada! I really shouted when finally, our computer is useable again.

Clap! Clap!

Thank you! Thank you!

Anyway, no classes today. Meaning all students and government employees had a long weekend. How did I spend mine?

Saturday à magazine photo shoot. With Anne, Karen and our model in La Mesa EcoPark. It was tiring. We walked and walked and walked until we got tired. Then I got sleepy. But when I reached home, I didn’t sleep rightaway. Even though the house’s lights were already off when the hand of the clock struck 21:00,I stayed in front of the computer for more than 3 hours. I surfed the net all night and also watched the piano which caused me a hard time to sleep. I slept later than 1 but before two.

Sunday à my dad woke me up as early as the sun is just about to shine. Kidding. It went raining all night that’s why the morning became cold and cozy and very inviting for another sleep. so when I heard my dad saying that we are going to the province, I thought I was dreaming. When my dad woke me up again approximately 10 minutes after his first attempt, I was shocked by his news that we’re going to the province because of an unexpected death of a relative. May he rest in peace. It was sad. But on the brighter sad, I realized that I’m not going to miss my cousin’s christening after all.

Oh yeah! Finally, we reached our 118kms. far province. But when we reached the place, I felt awkward about it. I felt really awkward when I was talking to my cousins. Weird feeling. But after so many hours of silence, I finally found myself again. My family and I visited the family who just lost my tito. it was sad. The place was so quiet. It was very different from the day my mom died. I don’t know, but it the place was sad, and cold.

Anyway, night came when celynn and I felt the urge to go home. But we didn’t go home. We went straight to my cousin’s place and found them playing scrabble. Wahaha.. first time I saw them doing that.

Hours and hours has already passed when celynn and I decided to sleep in aj’s place (my cousin). Together with aj, boni, mac, apo and alvin, celynn and I spent the night playing PS games. Eating junkfoods. btw, I didn’t play. I only watched them play. Grabe, it was just like a summer day. A summer sleepover. After so many hours of laughing and fun, we realized that it was already 6am. We weren’t complete but I really had fun even though my eyes were already shouting at me telling me to sleep. why did we decide to sleep?? because ninong was already awake. And told us to sleep. celynn and I decided to go home. And so we did and when we reached there, I didn’t anymore find my own place or a bed to sleep, I decided to sleep beside my ninang. We went back in here after 3 hours of sleeping. I slept during the whole trip. Then slept again when I reached my bed. But before I did, I prayed and thanked God for summer days hasn’t really drifted away. Hahah. Unlike what happened in Grease, school days is just occurring so that time won’t be wasted.

done with UA&P. it was easy though there's going to be a really tight competition since they'll only be getting the top 800 examinees.

what happened last week?

my "last week" was amazing. aside from the new car bought, time passed by so fast and sudden. sleeping, laughing, waking up and dreaming are the only things i remembered myself doing.

last friday, I , together with poj, ella,tep, anna r., det and gla, attended tito jimmy's birthday. [gem's dad]. it was really funny that we dressed in semi formal attire . the executives. that's how we called ourselves after seeing people in their plain casual attires. i slept in gem's family's condo unit.

saturday came.
together with anne, jamie and aura, i went to intramuros to take pictures for our magazine. it happened to be gma's visit to intramuros, too. Too bad didn't the president meet me ,the next president. hmmp.. there might be a reason for that.

after that, we went to fort santiago and visited the mini museum of rizal's works and stuffs. now i know why he is called our national hero. his word were really patriotic.

after that, we went to baywalk. the place stinks because of the "aquarium-like" smell of the bay.

after that,we went to SM MALL of Asia. It was my first time to be in there.wahahhaha... aura and i had gone mad when we saw gerald of pbb.

after some stroll inside a part of the big mall, we stayed outside near the bayand waited for the sunset so we can take a picture of it. we did all sorts of criticism towards the people dating in there.grabe pda. sobra.. you know the piatos commercial? we did that too. we made script of people dating lalo na nung may nakita kaming guy na nagbibigay ng pinitas niyang flower sa girl.

hahah.. kadiri... after the long 2 hours of waiting, the sun didn't set beautifully. clouds covered the big huge sky. so, we decided to go home.

sunday,
woke up at 4:45 a while ago for me not to be late in my ua&p test. for the first time, i stepped inside that university. woah!!! it was really a nice and peaceful place. that shall be called my school . i hope i pass.

after the test, i attended the mass in edsa shrine together with the whole itao family. grabe its been two or more months since i last attended a Sunday mass. and since it was my first time to step inside the historical edsa shrine church, i made three wishes. and i hope God will grant them someday.....

after the mass, we went to galleria and ate at max's restaurant. grabe i adore the itao family. they are so bonded. i wish mine was like theirs too. and i wish,like them ,i can still hug and laugh with my mom. too bad that that wish is now impossible to come true. way too impossible ! anyway, i spent quality time with them. wahaha.. i had fun playing basketball in time zone. gemmalie!!! 15 ka 42 ako. haha.. loser!

kidding, really, i had fun. nawala ang stress.

to be able to express what im really feeling right now... hahah.. itagalog.. buwan naman ng wika eh.

grabe... sobrang kinilig ako last monday. i was with gem's family. and who are the persons in her family??? tito jim, tita girlie, ate lady, kuya gam and kuya james. ay wala pala si kuya gam kahapon at si ate lady.. grabe. i still can't forget what happened last monday. as soon as i stepped inside the classroom yesterday, I already started sharing the stories to my seatmates.. wahaha..

gem, you might read this.. thanks nga pala for having parents that wanted to adopt me.. pero i'm fine living in this far away place. i'm happy living in here..

saka malay mo someday.. wohoooo!!!!

grabe.. kinikilig talaga ako.. =) hindi ko alam kung bakit.. pero hindi ko siya makwento dito sa blog.

basta last monday, i went home late. pero hinatid naman ako sa house. thank you thank you. mga 11:30 na ata ako nakauwi ng bahay. i thought that my dad's going to scold me as soon as i reach home since i still have classes. pero i found myself sleeping..tas nagtext dad ko nung nagising siya. asking me kung nasan na ko.. hahaha. nagreply ako "nandito sa kwarto, natutulog na".

nakakatawa!!!

friday's the day to look forward to, again.

Anyway, my dad was supposed to leave for work today.. but it was postponed or shall I say canceled? Grabe, I’m wondering kung san naming kinukuha pera namin since February. Or siguro may savings lang talaga dad ko.

Oh well, basta ako… ako pa rin. This afternoon, Socorro Ramos (National Bookstore Owner) had a talk in our school . also Mrs. Custodio, if I’m not mistaken (FIC Owner). In fairness, our school is a bit big time. They’ve actually invited these prominent and well known people.

it was yesterday when i took the entrance exam for UP (upcat). it was hard (math and science part) and the reading comprehension part was BORING. there was a part in the reading comprehension about the world map -- longitude and the latitude --wherein i didn't read the context, what i've done is just answer the questions based on my knowledge about longitude and latitude. i don't know if that was a good idea, but i am hoping it is.

language proficiency was the easiest. thanks to my teachers.... they've given us so hard quizzes and they've trained us a lot. the errors in the test where easily identified.

what else? hmm.. i really did a lot of guessing in the UPCAT even though UP discourages guessing. I don't remember myself not answering a question. the time alloted for math was too short because the questions required so many solutions, so i ended up guessing a lot of items in that part. when my friends and i were discussing it, i realized that i haven't even read the question they were talking about. so now, im really hoping that my guesses where right. math saddens me because that is my expertise but i can't even solve the problems given.. i have solved some, only my answers to them weren't in the choices. that is why i ended up guessing a lot of items.

pray! i hope it works.

but at least im done with the upcat. four more entrance exams to come. one will be next week, though i haven't passed the application form. one will be on the 2nd week of september and the other two, no schedules yet.

i wish to pass ateneo in case i fail up. pressure talaga pag matalino mga kamag-anak mo. hmmmp. but ella told me a while ago that i am more on the UA&P material since i am more into business and politics. i wish what she said comes true.

i wish to study in one of the best universities in the country... kahit ua&p na lang.. that will do.. that will surely do... i want to be in it... i want to study in it.. but i still wish to pass upcat dahil nga sa pressure about having too intelligent relatives.

but i still prefer ua&p and ateneo. :-)

at this moment, i can't possibly explain what i'm feeling. really. i feel so nervous because of the upcoming UPCAT. man!!! really i am. and i even felt surprised when i found myself studying biology and english for the exam. waaah. really really not me. but with all the expectations pressuring me, i think i really have to. i feel it's a must to pass, and i feel that it's time to prove them right. that i am not a good girl transformed into a bad one. i still am a good girl. really good girl. oh god! i really need God's help.

pray for me. i need those prayers.

anyway, just having a break from the long biology reviewer making. waaahh.. i'm really panicking.

last night i dreamt that it was already the examination day. it was 5:30 when i reached UP and was left by my mom at the testing center. 6:00 came when i realized that i forgot my testing permit.

waah.. i think that was a reminder for me. dreaming something like that makes me really nervous. yah i really am so paranoid right now. then add the nervousness that's freaking me out.
because of that, i've set 3 reminders for myself about the permit. 1 set at night before the test. 1 set 4:30 am on the testing day and 5:00 set 1/2 hour before the test.

i know! i am so paranoid.

but anyway, i'm already done with my ACET essay. yes. i did another one since the first one(thanks to raissa) was mushy. the second one (thanks to anne) was i think boring. the third one (thanks to the computer) was erased and the fourth one (thanks to myself) was lost. yes, i actually made 5 essays. i've sent the fifth to my cousin, then he'll recheck it for grammar. i think that one is the best essay i've made. it satisfied me and i really felt so successful when i was reading it. i really hope it won't look boring to the reader because for me... it's something that can pull me up in case i am just wait listed.

hmmm.. more to come.

ps. senior year isn't tiring but really pressuring.

retreat.

the retreat we had last july 17 - 19 was really not good. there are times that i really wanted to sleep while the talk is going on, but i can't. it was boring but i that was the only retreat na naging seryoso ako when it comes to praying. in fairness, i REALLY prayed. my favorite part is when anne, ella, and i are already inside the room, sharing our secrets and our hidden selves. it was really really fun. i get to know them better. eating was also fun. kaya lang puro chicken. but the longganisa (which is obviously not a chicken) tastes great. not like the ordinary longganisa with the parang plastic covering na kadiri.

hmmm.. what else? as usual, to have fun, we did some mischiefs.

as i have said before, i did get to know more of anne and ella. well, i really wish anne gets to read this though i know that she doesn't visits blogs.

anne. she's not just a good friend.. she is a very very nice friend. one of the very few people i trust with my most delicate secrets. i really love her, and it's sad to think that in just a few months, she'll be going to states to continue her studies. i'm going to miss her.

ella. as you well all know, she's one of the best friends i've got. haha.. JOLOGISTA TAYO!!! woohoo... it's not just fun to be one... it's SO FUN to be one.

haha..i really wanted to say everything that happened inside the room or what we shared inside the room but i think i can't and am not allowed to be able to protect ourselves. hehee..

but i'm a bit disappointed with our retreat. the activities are really disappointing pero good thing na rin na lahat ng groupmates ko ... HINDI BORING...

by the way thanks for all who gave me palancas.

:-)

nakakainggit.. umuwi sila lahat kahapon. nakakainggit. y can't we go there too? nakakainis talaga..

haha. oh well, WANTED MAID na ulit.. mamaya aalis na daw katulong namin. naka 3 araw lang siya.. haha.. haven't beaten the one day record. grabe. i wonder what is wrong in our house? madali lang naman linisin kasi maliit lang. tapos wala pa kami palagi so walang nag-uutos. she can do whatever she wants to do. tapos pag-andito kami. wala rin lang naman nag-uutos. as in plainly luto at linis lang siya. i really don't know why househelpers in our house can't stay that long. ever since january we already had hmm.. approximately 10. tapos yung iba hindi ko man lang nalaman yung name. haha.. who'll be next? and how long will she stay? those are the questions.. takte.. palagi na lang kami nagkakaroon ng bagong katulong.. haha.. 11th na ata yung dadating.. sana meron dumating. and good thing i'll be out for three days. haha.. skip household chores.

retreat is just 2 days ago, and im a bit excited. haha. but not to the point that im already packing my things because i don't plan to pack all my stuffs.not today not tomorrow.

hmm... i guess all will be doing some little mischiefs. haha.

according to the two sections who already had their retreat... the place is big but the rooms are nothing compared to the rooms at the school's retreat house.

roommates are anne and ella.. they will surely be good roommates. too bad gem will be in the next room to us..but woohooo.. ngayon lang ako naexcite talaga.

3 days away from home and school is something to look forward t

palancas ha!!! make me one

no classes tomorrow. what can i say?

SPEECHLESS ---

i'm so happy. but remember

Everytime you pray or ask for a typhoon or a flood to occur, think about the homeless people who shiver all night long in the cold cold streets. Think about those children who sell sampaguita in the roads. Think about the price of our selfishness.

--> tama ba namang isend sakin to. hahah.. but still, celebrate!!! we'll be having rest tomorrow.

i'm so sorry, i'm a bit selfish, but whether you agree or not. WE NEED REST. I NEED REST

classes were suspended.

as usual, everyone in the school became hysterical. ella and i were the first ever high school students to be permitted to go out. haha.. while everyone else was in the building, i was already in the car, sleeping. too bad, pamayanan's retreat was not postponed. they still have to continue to go to batangas. but like any other day, we arrived home at around 4pm. so it was not realy something to be happy for. but im still thanking the typhoon for there were less classes and no homewrk andno club. thanks thanks! whatever is the name.

actually, we have a homework even if we attended 6 classes but met two teachers only. COMEX. it's supposed to be passed tomorrow but it was given a week ago. damn! i haven't done it yet. nonetheless, because of my brilliant mind, i already have a title for a work not yet existing.

my stock epithet is: THE PRESIDENT WHO REACHED MOUNT EVEREST.

compared to the Big Winged Butterfly, i think the new one is more catchy. geloi suggested A Burst of Laughter. well, it's a bit of me, but i had a hard time explaining it.

once on a cloudy night. i woke up from a dream i woke up because i wanted to pee. it was exactly 1:27am when i got back on my bed and then the next thing i knew is that i can hardly sleep. once on a cloudy night all i was thinking is about a person and that caused my failure to go back to sleep. once on a cloudy night i was just staring at the ceiling for 2 and a half hours and then poof! at last i got asleep and the next thing i knew is that its already 5am, and i have to take a bath.

it just happened once. but i haven't forgotten that night simply because it just happened yesternight. duh! who wouldn't forget that? hahah

that made me crave for sleep all day.

if only i can erase the fact that i have seen something. if only i can wish that everything didn't happen. if only i can slit my wrist. i might do it. but i will not and i cannot stand seeing my blood oozing. and i don't want to hurt myself. and i don't want to die in the first place. but errrrr!!! stupid ideas just come inside my mind whenever there is a dull moment.

right now, we're completely forgotten. (i think).

celynn and i are just alone a minute ago. may just arrived. and all three of us haven't eaten. there's food in the kitchen. but rarrr!! as i've said. i think we're completely forgotten.

college orientation was not a really big help, but i really thank for it since we didn't have classes for two days. well, im not really here to talk much about the college orientation since i haven't planned about my college life.

the "long table" that's how we call it just had so much fun every break time. we had concentration games, shaggedy and ice ice water. and that is something one included in the table can look forward to every lunch. we make noise. we occupy a big space. we act a bit childish. but who cares, right? it's our life!!! and seniors' life is way more fun.

sadly in more or less 8 months we have to part away.. but.. uhmmm. i think as long as we're seniors. we don't have to think about it. we'll just be having fun and enjoying each lunch time.

p.s.

i just finished watching season 3 of OTH. waaah.. it's really bitin.. and i can't wait for season 4. rarrr!!! what will happen to brooke? is she really pregnant? what will happen to nathan? will he die? what's next.

soon to find out in one tree hill.

Again and again. Again, for the nth time, we have to change our maid. Ano ba yan? Wala pa ngang 1 week yung katulong na bago eh. Well, it’s my dad’s decision, I think. The previous made went out a while ago, and has not yet come back. Due to this, I think my dad got irritated with it. He doesn’t like that kind of manner nor do I like it. Beside me, is my dad interviewing a new applicant. The decision is still pending. He still has to consult all three of us and talk to the other made once she arrives. Well, God is still good because every time our maids go, He just gives us again and again. I thought that our current maid will stay for good na because I had this very good impression when I first saw her. Now, as far as I can react, I don’t really like the way the new applicant looks like, but who knows, she may be the one for good. Hahah

Still planning who are the people that I’ll be getting for my recommendations in Ateneo. Retreat date is becoming nearer and nearer and I’m excited because of the plans we had (my roommates and I had). Wahah!

stock epithet of myself: the big-winged butterfly

we had this communication exercise a while ago to replace the absence of mrs. ben, and that's what i made. anyway, more or less, there are 35 weeks left before we marched to the stage. i can't wait for that day, but for now, i'm still enjoying life as a senior. as of now, the patch power is kind of fun. i'm not bullying lower grades, but with the patch you get this respect from them without saying anything to them. let me repeat, i don't bully lower grades because i don't even talk to them except during club or to my younger sister.

the company my friends is giving me is really really, i can't find the term in my head, but i'm really happy i'm back to where i belong..

mags and ella simply are my best friends, and i truly love them for that because i am able to share almost everything to them except for my toothbrush and undies and other personal stuffs.

anyway, i just want to update because i'm kind of bored right now. in school, almost everyone still fancies zac efron.. but in our table with my tablemates during lunch,,,it's f4 who's returning.

that's it.. chop! chop!

a lot of things happened lately. yesterday, chu (one of our dogs) (labrador) (happened to be my favorite dog), was sold, and unfortunately, on that same day he was killed by those buyers. What the heck was their intention? I don't know..but i've got this feeling that they ate my dog, my FAVORITE dog. 8 years!!! 8 years of being together!!! waaahh.. i can still remember the first day she stepped in our house.. wahaha parang tao. it was nov 28 1998 and the first thing she drank was cowhead and we gave her jollibee as her meal on her 2nd and third day here in our house and she pooed in our house that's why we sent her outside and made her a cage to lived in. now she's gone. bye bye chu!!! i'll miss you. wahaha.. i guess it's time that i feed joey (other bitch).

on the brighter side, my sister, elder, was capped (tama ba yung term) a while ago. if im not mistaken, it's like a graduation for nurses only no diploma yet. thanks to her capping we ate in the mall for our dinner. however, the family's first nurse seems to be the sick. she's ill today. her temperature's burning that's why celynn and i have to aid her once in a while. which i sometimes don't want to do since they never help me when i am sick. but apparently, i'm not like them so i'm a bit concerned rin naman and worried because my elder sister is so thin. as in thin. thinner than how thin i am today. i think she's already considered to be one of the malnourished. honestly, that's what im thinking because she is SO skinny and always sick. time to feed her a lot.while she gets thin, i get bigger.

anyway, another good thing that is about to happen. tantananan!!! tomorrow, new maid will arrive. yahoo!!! ahaha.

p.s i know i am sometimes bad because i still don't want to help my sister even if she's sick, but seriously, i'm worried about her condition.

another p.s.
brad's butt on the picture above is royal sexiness.. hottie!!

newest hot foreigner: zac efron
newest hot pinoy: gerald anderson
newest SHS hottie: hahah --> MAGS

*love yah mags!!!

hahah.

hahah.. thanks to gem, i realized so many things..

what happened lately???

apparently, i got the position i really wanted (VP) yahoo!!!... and recently, my friends just made me so proud of them.. mags passed the basketball try outs and also had a position in class (PRO) and ELLA --> she passed the pep tryouts!!! woohooo!!! i'm so so so proud of my best friends.. what else? hahah.. i still can't believe that i'm actually doing my homework at home.. that was really ... NOT ME

a happy birthday pojee!!! wahaha.

It's your birthday!It's your birthday!

body still aching because of the work out. and head aching because of the picture i can't get off my mind. the one i saw in the film we viewed in our teenstar subject. it still makes me feel like i wanted to vomit. trauma! trauma! lesson learned: don't have s*x.. hahah..

for the nth time... again,, wala na naman kaming katulong.. waaahhh!!! i wonder if our house already has a curse... because since the first month of this year, we already had 1, 2 ,3 , 4 ... a number of housemaids employing in our house then after a week or two, or a month they just vanish in an instant.. and now, i just finished ironing our school uniforms. hahah..

my dad just joined a club a while ago.. and tomorrow we'll all (celynn, me , may and papa) be working out tomorrow to celebrate the father's day. while, i'm planning to have a steam bath after our work out tomorrow.. can't wait... and due to this plans, i'm already finishing my homework so that i need not have to worry tomorrow.

heheh.. advance happy fathers' day to my dad tomorrow.. i hope he reads this..

:0

INVICTUS

william e. henley

OUT of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

something's driving me really crazy.. and up to now, i still don't know what the hell it is...

am i crazy???

am i insane??

am i lunatic??

or it's just me who's thinking this way??

this week has been very tiring for me. not really that tiring,, but everyday, i brought with me 2 books and around 2-3 notebooks. actually i can't believe i'm doing all my homework at HOME... and actually reading my books. for the very first time in my highschool life,,, i actually did all my assignments at home... and sometimes even days before the due date. i think i deserve 3 claps for that.. haha..

anyway,,,since i only had 1 homework for today, i actually thought i should update my blog and... later.. i'll be sleeping early since i really got tired a while ago even if i was just sitting in my chair for one whole day... but a whole day with almost all the teachers giving quizzes and seatworks.

just arrived here. (in front of the computer) from the province.

i spent the long weekend in the province with my cousins and unexpectedly, for the very first time in the year 2006, nk2 was again complete but the whole saturday night wasn't spent like what we used to do. it was quite boring. the hide and seek didn't last long and manel didn't even participate because of the unexpected call that lasted for 7 hours i think. some were really disappointed but at least we were complete.

sunday was the rematch of east and west. silanganan won and was unofficially declared the champion. then the plan to have a swimming was cancelled because all of us went to sleep after the match. during the sleepover we watched Harold and Kumar Goes to White Castle which was really really funny and the Dodgeball which was shallow.

now im back in this place called Manila . and tomorrow, life will again be serious. waaahh!!! sana matapos na yung schoolyear

i just woke up from a very deep sleep. today is the 4th day of classes and i'm still absent in school. i just had this very bad dream a while ago, good thing our maid woke me up and told me that i had a phone call from my dad. i hurriedly picked it up and when i said "hello", he told me that the negative of the picture i gave him which he photocopied isn't mine. i wasn't the owner of the face. WHAAAT??? that was the original film... so, whose is that face? well, even though my dad and i argued about it, it was kind of a relief that im talking to him since i had this very bad dream.

tummy still hurts.

3rd day. absent.

tummy still hurts. no soda, no juice, no other beverages except for milk, chocolate drink, and of course, water. what the heck. but anyway, time will pass and people will be forgetting that i am not allowed to drink those prohibited beverages.

2nd day yesterday. since i was sick, i didn't enjoy our second day in school except during lunch when my friends and i kept laughing. mrs. ben's introduction of her subject was the best. it was like sitting in tonight's show with jay leno. other subjects??? good. some subjects? not so good. and some.. even boring.

4th day tomorrow. i still don't know what to look forward to except for the weekends... long weekend. yehey!!!

sana umuwi kami province..

sometimes you really have to erase everything to forget the past.

new day! new year! new layout. special thanks to keishia.

seniors' year has already started. but no fresh faces. what i saw in the classroom were the same people only with new hairstyles (some), new shoes, new bags, new things, and new? what else? our class wasn't that energetic, but it was good enough because in there were some of my friends (aura, ella, anne, and gem itao). funny, really, that aura is our oic and gemmalie (who arrived late) was our class secretary. wahaha

pbb was the topic my friends and i talked about almost every break. we danced, screamed, and sang, catching the attention of almost everyone in the canteen, who i think were completely thinking that we are annoying. well, who cares? haha don romantiko!!!

as usual,, orientation for the first day... whole day orientation about the new handbook, and other new stuffs. and, about the aircon that all seniors were looking forward this year,, was not even turned on this day. hopefully, tomorrow, the sisters will allow us to use it.

what else?

well, that's all for today..

p.s. bad thing about being in that section is.. im not with marga (my bestest best friend). haaay!! three years straight!