irritated. i'm pissed with everyone in this place people call house. honestly, people in here are irritating and selfish, and it has reached the end of my patience. i was reflecting a while ago if the wrong is in me. but i don't think it's my fault. im pissed. totally irritated and pissed. arrggggh... and you know what's worse? there's just no one to talk to, and it's really sad. it's really really sad. i'm left here teary-eyed, controlling emotions, pretending to be strong. i want to burst out my feelings, but to whom? i wanted to call someone.. but i don't even know who's that someone. mouth shut. eyes just staring. mouth wanting to shout all kinds of vulgar and profanity. but im left here... still pretending that i'm okay. my tita's house is just next door, but i don't want to talk to anyone. i don't want to speak out everything inside me fearing that people will just pity me and talk about me behind my back. i hate sympathy.

honestly, i want to cut my wrist, but i am afraid that i'd be living in a more miserable life. i hate solitude, but i don't think i'd be loving to have all the attention on me. i hate too much attention. i hate misery. i hate. i just hate my current state.