my birthday is almost two months away... well this is my wish list and hopefully someone reads it

1. a pocket watch
2. a chanel bag any leather bag
3. shades
4. another kink cake
5. a planner that starts with my birthday
6. a new make up kit
7. lingerie
8. a nice boquet of flowers
9. 2 plane tickets abroad (for me and my sister)
10. a waterproof camera
11. a trip to a strip club
12. a new phone
13. 21 bars of baby ruth
14. anne rice's books
15. the book with the real versions of fairy tales
16. beatle's album
17. a new radio car
18. a trip to boracay
19. ballroom danncing lessons
20. video greetings of the 21 people closest to me
21. a surprise party for me!!!!

talk.
i need to know so many things.
how and why?
i need to know what you're thinking.

talk.
i need to talk to you
but why is it so impossible
for you to talk?

by roma magsumbol

just arrived from quezon. from tikboy's wake.

every time i look at him in the coffin.. i get confused. and it seems that i don't know anymore what to feel when someone's dead. ever since my mom died, i think the world has taught me to be numb and emotionless.

and now that i am back in manila. i had fights with my boyfriend and my sisters

sigh...

it's 3:51.. and up until now i can't sleep.. i'm just not too sleepy. and emotions seem to mix up inside me..

just a few hours ago i heard some devastating news. a cousin of mine just died. stabbed to death by some unknown killer who aimed at his heart. he was just 17 or maybe even younger. it was a shock to everyone and apparently up until now his mom and sister still don't know it.

to nicholas alilio III. to tikboy.


your smiles
your laughters
your face.
your thoughtfulness
and being polite will all be missed
you will be missed..

god, why now? what's your plan? it's too early for him that although i know he's happy there, he left people who will forever have a sad heart. and i wish whatever your plan is... the suspect will be discovered. i wish justice for him not just peace. he doesn't deserve this painful death

tikboy.. i love you..
and the I, together with all the NK2 and the whole Alilio, will miss you dearly

REST IN PEACE.

lord thank you for giving kliff and i good grades

up until now I still don't know what to do
clueless, can't stop thinking about you. -roma magsumbol

lord let kliff pass his philo 101. please please please

Tied

His hands that once marked his mother’s tummy from the inside
which held his parents when crossing the street
which grasped the pen that carved his thoughts
that has dribbled and shot so many balls
that clutches the steering wheel to reach to my house
are now holding mine

And that finger that was once so small
is bound by a ring
that is same as mine

A poem for Kliff E. Young
by Roma A. Magsumbol

suddenly i remembered everything when i was reading my blogs since 2006, and although things don't go as i would have wished for them to be, at this moment in my life, really, what could i have wished for again? it seemed before that i was never contented, and up until now, i think i still am. i am human. what do you expect from me?

the past made me smile. i was so immature back then; complaining about the made, telling so many little things about my day. But guess what, things haven't changed, and just like before, i still am immature deep inside me.

i missed so many things about my past.
but i am so happy now with the present.
and just like before, i was curious of every thing that will happen later, tomorrow and to my future.

things have changed.
the people i have been with have changed.
in fact right now, i am at home... with just my younger sister, unlike before where all my sisters are in here and i kept on complaining about them.

i miss aura and anne. i wish i could have a whole day spent with them.
i miss the fights i have had with my sisters and the adventures i've had with my friends.
i miss.. well i miss the innocence i once had, and the curiosity i had for the world.

i miss being oma. not roma because the change of name made a lot of difference.

and even if i have one wish to be granted.. i don't think i'll wish to go back to my past.. coz although i was happy before and am missing everything i've had before, i am what i am now. i think i am happy.

dear rasheed wallace.. i hope you read this

i badly need an original jersey of yours when you were still in washington bullets. I want to give it to my boyfriend. i'm from the Philippines, by the way. And so is my boyfriend who is your biggest fan from here.

thanks.

i've been writing poems lately for my lit classes. and here's the first one i wrote. it's about domestic relations. it's about my mom.

i miss her.
i lover her.
here it goes.

Spectator
by Roma Alilio Magsumbol
You saw her at her beginning
and she saw you at day's end
With the scent of your bosom
The young went to sleep
With the sound of your lullaby
Reality turned into dreams

As she learned to walk,
you were at her side
As she marches to the stage,
you watched her truimphs.
You saw her beginning
Yet, she witnessed your end.

In the never-ending film called life,
Everyone's just an audience:
A mere spectator.

PS. i own this poem. nobody can have it unless he/she asks for permission. or else, she'll be liable to the authority with the charge of plagiarism.

dear baby,

you know who you are. well, parting with you was never been this sad. yes, i cried. it just hurts to see you sad and it hurts more that i can't do anything but see it... i saw your car leave... and i just burst my heart after. it's been a long while since i cried because of sadness. when i went into my room, i wanted to bang my head on my cabinet. but i hesitated, because i know, you wouldn't want me to do it. so i just hit my head using my small fist..

seeing you leave...

the image got stuck in my head.. and until now i am still crying and feeling sorry for myself.

sorry if i can't always be with you
sorry if you have to bring me home pa
sorry coz i'm not as free as you are
sorry coz i can't do anything about it.

i feel awful. sorry isn't the most comforting word to say but know that i'm feeling as sad as you are. i want a hug from anyone and most especially from you.. but then im here... left alone in my room.

this is my first summer ever since i entered college. at first i was enjoying it

march 27: attended lex beach party
april 1: traveled without traffic
april 3-5: sariaya adventure with kliff
april 9-11: dolores hambujan (with kuya jon and kokoy)

now i'm bored and just bumming, dreading the fact that i went back to manila when i could have stayed in dolores and enjoy the life there..

it's effing hot in here and boring.

i just realized while i was bonding with my cousins that i have missed them so much, and it's good to have them back although now i am with different people, people i wasn't really close with before.

and i guess it's a good thing. time to make new friends.

it's just disappointing that i went here to manila to meet up with my boyfriend and he hasn't exerted any effort at all.. and when i told him not to meet up with me i can't believe he took it seriously... if there's a will, there's a way... and until now, he hasn't showed up.. i haven't eaten and i won't eat until he shows up... he knows that, and guess what, until now,i'm still starving..

too much effort right?

sigh...........

he doesn't even care... and now i am alone in this empty dirty house.. wishing and wondering.

what a long day. productive yet depressing. i started the day waking up at 6 for a theology test at 8:30. then took my history finals at 11:30 then worked for our law paper til 1am. just arrived home . i miss my mom. i hate the feeling of being in a house where i don't even see my family.

again it's my birthday. i came home 20 minutes before the clock strikes 12. everyone at home was asleep na.. i woke celynn up to open the door and after i changed my clothes she let me blew a candle on a cake. happy 20th birthday to me..

i really hate birthdays. i don't know why. aside from each time i had one, i feel that i'm older... i also feel that during this day everyone is nice to me, and i feel bad that why only on this day when people seem so kind. why can't this day be just a normal day for me..

i appreciate people who everyay makes effort, and i miss those people:anne and my family and kliff... and right now i'm just at home in my bedroom... studying for a test and wishinng that birthdays were never celebrated

since we were assigned to do a reflection paper about love, i am still up til now.. but then i got inspired when i rememebered shakespeare's sonnet 116.. my favorite


Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.



--- William Shakespeare

i felt disappointed for forgetting to answer the bonus part for my history long test when i already have an idea what to do..

and so here is my supposed-to-be-haiku for that part

The Travails of A Snail in EDSA
by Roma Magsumbol
Snail crossing Edsa
Cars, roads, engines, smoke and horns
D.E.A.T.H

i should have answered it.. i know it's not good.. and it won't even get a point from my professor.. but hahaha.. i love poetries and so, i kinda like haikus

augh

anyway.. we have a maid already.. hahaha after months of searching for a maid, finally, we already found one. actually, i was not the one who looked for her.. so to my boyfriend's mom.. BIG THANKS

i've been sick all week. and i hate the feeling of coughing and feeling weak all day especially that i'm in school and not on my bed resting...

but then i realized that at least i don't have colds.

:D

i'm not sure if this is the first time that i blogged about me being sick, but i'm guessing it is, and it affirms that although i am thin--or shall i say skinny-- i'm still healthier than almost everyone i know claiming to be healthy