god. i missed my mom. haay. two hours ago. i was just walking and walking and walking. unaware of what's happening around me. for once, the world seemed to just fade and i was left alone walking in a place that was,,, (well, for me) isolated. tapos narealize ko na lang na malayo layo na rin nalakad ko. i miss my mom.

i miss the times that i hug that very soft tummy.
i miss the times that i always look forward to dismissal because i'll be seeing my mom again and we'll go to any place and do anything. shop for example.
i miss the times that i don't have to sleep late just to do my assignments and don't have to worry about projects because i'll know that she'll help me finish it.
i miss the times that i hide in her bedroom whenever i am assigned to do some household chores. then in there,,, we'll just talk about anything happy or sad. sometimes we get so dramatic but when we cry together.. we also laugh at the same time.
i miss the times that i run to her bed at night whenever i had a nightmare then she's going to hug me and tell me to pray for a wonderful dream.
i miss every single moment i had been with her.

and now, sad to say... whatever happens, i'll never have another chance to make a new memory with her.

got home at 1:30am last night. aura's 3rd celebration was fun. we watched the happy feet in gateway. roamed around the mall then went to eastwood to... well, we're supposed to eat but we don't have much money so we just strolled around eastwood city. people in there were so dressed. i mean,,, all were wearing smart casual attires while.. we're so out of place. we stared at hot guys because they're hot.. they stared at us because we're wearing just our simple selves. ahaha. tsinelas. pants. shirt. why do we have to get dressed and put make up in eastwood, anyway? simplicity is holy. ahaha.

oh yeah.

i was dropped in a police station. there my sister met me and we waited for our sundo. ahaha. grabe. people were like staring at us. sobrang.. natatakot ako... parang drug addict yung mga yun. a car even stopped in front of us and opened their window and said hi... and i was so freaking out. it's already 1am..antagal nung sundo. but when they arrived... woah! unexpectedly.. 4 motorcycles arrived... then i was already going to tell my ate that i think it will be better if we just seat in the burger machine kasi there were rumors that in our place.. robbers were always in their motorcycles... pero when i saw the driver.. ahaha. they were our neighbors who were volunteers to guard our village,and they came to fetch us. ahaha. when we drove back to the house.. i was screaming and shouting (wohoo!) on our way.. i really enjoyed the trip. it's as if i was drunk when i screamed as the motorcycles raced to our house which was a kilometer or two from our house. saya!

and we arrived safely at home and had a 12-hour sleep.

the end.

ps. there's another celebration for aura's birthday. sana matuloy.

i had a 22-hour beauty rest. whew. sarap matulog. the camping was really tiring. my groupmates and i lived like the poor. we cooked our own food, slept outside the tent, walk in the middle of a very dark field and ate with kawayan utensils.

i also had my very first football training last friday. god! it was tiring. tiring that at some point i already heard my lungs craving for air and my body wanting to just lie down in the middle of the field. but although the training was really tiring, it was fun and good. we played games for fun. run wildly across the field. my teammates were great. the trainers were approachable. and i think, i'll be having a great time with all of them. but still it was tiring. i felt all my calories being burned and muscles being stiffened. no way! ayoko magkamuscles sa legs. aheheh

anyway, i already got my report card. i wasn't able to retain my 98 in math. it went down by one point. but my prosec grade went up by two points and replaced the loss of my 98. so okay pa rin. my teenstar and analytic geometry grade soared high by 6 points. english by 4. physics, music and economics by 2. so okay naman. others retained some went down by one to two points. but i think i did good last quarter. ahehe.

intrams practice tomorrow. hmm. again i'll be playing drums. woah! i'm quite nervous. ahehe. trivia: i stopped playing instruments because of there was a cause. and now i'm playing drums again. i'm freaking scared. ahaha. sana wala ng epal na magcomment again about how i play instruments. panira ng buhay eh! aheheh

that's it. chop! chop!

by the way, celynn was the basketball MVP in their intrams. a video of how she played will be posted on my multiply. ahehe. i'm so proud of her! siguro siya rin dapat yung best drummer. kaya lang. walang inannounce na best drummer. kaya 2 lang medals niya. but anyway, being the most valuable player is already an honor. ahah. go sister!

start of the second term tom. classes again. stress again. pressure again. workload again. test results again. failing or passing scores again. but it's the second term. 1 2 3 4 and 5 months more... then tantantatan. ahaha. parang ikakasal. ano ba tono ng graduation march song? diba tantantatan. anyway, anyway, as if i needed to know the tune. kahit naman alam ko or hindi,,, i'll always be out of tune, right?

oh well, i better sleep early. maaga na naman gigising. =)

why is everyone getting pregnant? why is almost everyone getting married? i have nothing against those people enjoying premarital sex,,, pero woah! grabe.. sobrang dami na ng biktima. good thing, i'm not one of those victims. i won't even try committing that shit.

anyway, a day and 6 hours from now, i'll be waking up for school again. (currently 23:00). oh no. i'm still not in the "going-to-school" mood. god. i 'm still enjoying the wonders of the one week break wherein i can get a chance to sleep for fourteen hours straight, stay online the whole night or do anything i want like movie marathon.

oh well..i can't escape school, right? i wish i could. i wish i really could. so that i can continue sleeping on my bed and dream about anything i want.

5 more months and im off from that school. grabe 12 years.
5 more months and wohoo! vacation ulit
5 more months and ... real world! here i come!

What happens if I mix milk and beer in my stomach? Currently 00:41 and just arrived from phyll’s party. Their house was pretty big. More than enough to accommodate all the guests (half were my friends). So what happened in there? Hmmm. Wild things. Really wild things.

Anyway, sembreak isn’t over yet, but unfortunately, I am already back to the real world (manila). I was planning to stay in the province for a week, but it turned out to be uhmm. 3 days? That’s less than half of the week .good thing there’ll be a sort of reunion next week (11th of November).. Meaning, I’ll be going back to the province and will be seeing my very loved cousins next week. Hooray!

Okay. So what is wrong with our internet connection? The process seems to be too slow. 36 kbps. What the heck!

Anyway, the fresh air (kind of) in the province comforted me. So I guess… I am back for good. No more dramas. No more issues. No more late night depressions… and forget all the issues… especially anything related to S-L-U-T-S.

Whew! It’s sad that I wasn’t able to share the topmost secret.. I was surprised that a few knows it. That was a relief, actually. To be able to ran away from that stupid replay of the whole story was a big relief.

God! What’s wrong with me. I can’t even tell it to people I trust. Not even to my best friend or to my closest relative.

Anyway. Like what I’ve said.. no more dramas.

Chop chop!

P.S. why is everyone telling me that i'm fat? fine fine. at least, may tumaba na ko.