dear baby,

you know who you are. well, parting with you was never been this sad. yes, i cried. it just hurts to see you sad and it hurts more that i can't do anything but see it... i saw your car leave... and i just burst my heart after. it's been a long while since i cried because of sadness. when i went into my room, i wanted to bang my head on my cabinet. but i hesitated, because i know, you wouldn't want me to do it. so i just hit my head using my small fist..

seeing you leave...

the image got stuck in my head.. and until now i am still crying and feeling sorry for myself.

sorry if i can't always be with you
sorry if you have to bring me home pa
sorry coz i'm not as free as you are
sorry coz i can't do anything about it.

i feel awful. sorry isn't the most comforting word to say but know that i'm feeling as sad as you are. i want a hug from anyone and most especially from you.. but then im here... left alone in my room.

this is my first summer ever since i entered college. at first i was enjoying it

march 27: attended lex beach party
april 1: traveled without traffic
april 3-5: sariaya adventure with kliff
april 9-11: dolores hambujan (with kuya jon and kokoy)

now i'm bored and just bumming, dreading the fact that i went back to manila when i could have stayed in dolores and enjoy the life there..

it's effing hot in here and boring.

i just realized while i was bonding with my cousins that i have missed them so much, and it's good to have them back although now i am with different people, people i wasn't really close with before.

and i guess it's a good thing. time to make new friends.

it's just disappointing that i went here to manila to meet up with my boyfriend and he hasn't exerted any effort at all.. and when i told him not to meet up with me i can't believe he took it seriously... if there's a will, there's a way... and until now, he hasn't showed up.. i haven't eaten and i won't eat until he shows up... he knows that, and guess what, until now,i'm still starving..

too much effort right?

sigh...........

he doesn't even care... and now i am alone in this empty dirty house.. wishing and wondering.