alone in school, feeling sleepy.
it currently 12:35 on my watch and yet i feel the urge of just going to bed and sleep. contrary to what most people say, 3rd year for me is not that stressful, there are just stuff needed to be done for each subject and all are due day after the other.
i have the best schedule and i guess, i got the best professors... but seriously, it's different when you're seating in a class wherein everyone has their own close friends... too bad for me, in my classes, my close friends aren't there.
i was staring blankly at the blackboard a while ago, thinking what other people are doing. i feel bad that there's just no one to talk to-- my best friend's in the states while my boyfriend's still at home sleeping; my friends are in their own schools and my sisters are on their own.
it's just me waiting too see someone i'm close with.
i miss the old times when i attend classes and everyone i sit beside with are my friends. i miss the times when lunch breaks are time for childish games. i miss the times when after eating, my friends and i go to our classroom to savor the cool temperature brought by the aircon and just sing endlessly on top of our lungs... and when the lunch break ends... we're exhausted, but silently laughing at the foolishness we've done. i miss those days. i miss high school
it's different now that everyone has a different schedule and in a different school.
it's different now that the person i miss is in a different place (i wish i could hug him tightly)
it's different now that when i talk to people, the things they tell me are dead boring. it's different now that everyone's going on their own way.
i wish i could talk to someone.
i really wish i could. at this time, in this place....
at this very moment.
14 September 2009
08 September 2009
070909
22:24
No classes today. The President declared last Friday that it’s a special holiday today to give tribute to the late Iglesia ni Kristo founder.
I heard the announcement last Friday while I was studying for my test on the next day. I was sooo happy to hear that it was declared that there will be no classes for today, and to spread the happiness to people who I know that doesn’t watch the news, I told the good news to Kliff. He began asking me to sleepover at their place or go to Tagaytay with his family, but then I suddenly remembered that Daddy Doc invited my family to go to the province since Lara, his granddaughter will be christened on Sunday. I, then thought that maybe it’s a good time to spend the weekend in the province. And so I did with Celynn and of course, with Kliff.
It has been a long time since I last went to the province. I didn’t get a chance to visit Quezon last summer because I have classes and I went to Dumaguete during the 2-week break and going there will double the spending that I will incur. I missed the Quezon so bad that living in Manila is already boring me.
In Quezon.
For some reasons I was so scared to bring Kliff to the province. One is I didn’t get a chance to tell my aunts about it. Second, I know that my dad’s scared that people might be saying things about his daughter again, me. Third, I don’t know how people will be reacting, and lastly, it’s because there’s a big chance that Kliff will be seeing the person who he hates a lot. And that… I don’t wanna write about.
It was fun. I really had fun. Knowing that my relatives, especially my cousins know who Kliff is meant so special to me. Seeing them talk to him even just for a little conversation made me happy. Me being with my cousins was something that I missed, and what makes it more special is that I am with. Not to forget, seeing Kliff play with them was something I’ve always wanted to happen. And of course, I get to introduce Kliff to the most special person in my life, my mom. Now, every special person in my life knows him. All of my family knows him, and I’m really really glad that my dad, my sisters and my cousins is approved of him. I love this fact.
Being in Dolores was again, something that I missed. The air, the rain, the smell… At last, I get again to feel the feeling of being home. Now that school’s really stressing me up and making me feel depressed, I know I needed that little break. And that one-day break really made me extra happy; it feels like being recharged again.
Before sleeping, I stayed with Kliff in the yellow room (well, one thing I expected to happen: Kliff and I not sleeping in one bed). That was the most special moment: something that I know will always make me smile and cry at the same time. I don’t know how I’m going to write about it and what about it that I have to write.. That moment is something I can’t put into words right now because seriously, it’s something I’m going to treasure but to give you a gist of it, Kliff told me that he tried to talk to my mom and that he feels that my mom gave signs of her approval of him. He wept and so did I and that makes the moment magical and special because our tears weren’t caused by depression, mourning or sadness. It just feels like, and I know coz I can see through his eyes that he truly deeply loves me. And I do also. I love him. I really really really do. No lies. No anxieties. No hesitations.
I feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world and although I often think that it might be wrong coz to good to be true…. It’s true.
And you know what.. It really is magic especially if that someone who stares at your face smiling, with his eyes sparkling, with his heartfelt words, with his fingers intertwined with yours. It’s just magic especially that I know, I feel and I see that…
it’s true.
22:24
No classes today. The President declared last Friday that it’s a special holiday today to give tribute to the late Iglesia ni Kristo founder.
I heard the announcement last Friday while I was studying for my test on the next day. I was sooo happy to hear that it was declared that there will be no classes for today, and to spread the happiness to people who I know that doesn’t watch the news, I told the good news to Kliff. He began asking me to sleepover at their place or go to Tagaytay with his family, but then I suddenly remembered that Daddy Doc invited my family to go to the province since Lara, his granddaughter will be christened on Sunday. I, then thought that maybe it’s a good time to spend the weekend in the province. And so I did with Celynn and of course, with Kliff.
It has been a long time since I last went to the province. I didn’t get a chance to visit Quezon last summer because I have classes and I went to Dumaguete during the 2-week break and going there will double the spending that I will incur. I missed the Quezon so bad that living in Manila is already boring me.
In Quezon.
For some reasons I was so scared to bring Kliff to the province. One is I didn’t get a chance to tell my aunts about it. Second, I know that my dad’s scared that people might be saying things about his daughter again, me. Third, I don’t know how people will be reacting, and lastly, it’s because there’s a big chance that Kliff will be seeing the person who he hates a lot. And that… I don’t wanna write about.
It was fun. I really had fun. Knowing that my relatives, especially my cousins know who Kliff is meant so special to me. Seeing them talk to him even just for a little conversation made me happy. Me being with my cousins was something that I missed, and what makes it more special is that I am with. Not to forget, seeing Kliff play with them was something I’ve always wanted to happen. And of course, I get to introduce Kliff to the most special person in my life, my mom. Now, every special person in my life knows him. All of my family knows him, and I’m really really glad that my dad, my sisters and my cousins is approved of him. I love this fact.
Being in Dolores was again, something that I missed. The air, the rain, the smell… At last, I get again to feel the feeling of being home. Now that school’s really stressing me up and making me feel depressed, I know I needed that little break. And that one-day break really made me extra happy; it feels like being recharged again.
Before sleeping, I stayed with Kliff in the yellow room (well, one thing I expected to happen: Kliff and I not sleeping in one bed). That was the most special moment: something that I know will always make me smile and cry at the same time. I don’t know how I’m going to write about it and what about it that I have to write.. That moment is something I can’t put into words right now because seriously, it’s something I’m going to treasure but to give you a gist of it, Kliff told me that he tried to talk to my mom and that he feels that my mom gave signs of her approval of him. He wept and so did I and that makes the moment magical and special because our tears weren’t caused by depression, mourning or sadness. It just feels like, and I know coz I can see through his eyes that he truly deeply loves me. And I do also. I love him. I really really really do. No lies. No anxieties. No hesitations.
I feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world and although I often think that it might be wrong coz to good to be true…. It’s true.
And you know what.. It really is magic especially if that someone who stares at your face smiling, with his eyes sparkling, with his heartfelt words, with his fingers intertwined with yours. It’s just magic especially that I know, I feel and I see that…
it’s true.
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